Since it's the season for examinations again, I am going to share some tips with parents on how to help your kids to prepare for theirs.
1. Healthy Body
I would think this is the most important point so it's at number 1. Without health, there's really nothing much we can do. How to keep your children healthy? We have to ensure that they get at least 8 hours of sleep, maintain a healthy diet and get their exercises.
Keep your children at home if they're feeling unwell, they won't be able to learn effectively even if they come to school. Let them have a good rest so that they will have a speedy recovery, and leave the school work aside. Do not worry that they will be unable to catch-up because I'm sure the teachers will understand and grant them more time. In case the teachers don't, do give the teachers a call or write them a letter to explain your child's condition.
All work and no play makes Jill a dull child. Play to our children is like sunshine to the plants, it's essential, it makes them glow with energy, beam with joy as their eyes twinkle with delight. Never underestimate the power of play. In the context of primary school education, I classify co-curricular activities (CCA) under the category of 'play'. So yes, CCA is very important to your children, not because it helps them to get into the secondary school they want, but because it balances their school life.
I confess that as a teacher, sometimes I feel abit frustrated that pupils keep missing my lessons because they are involved in competitions or matches. However, I keep reminding myself that they are actually benefiting more from these experiences. I am touched when I get to witness my girls playing in the finals of a basketball match.What did they get out of these? Once a sportswoman myself, I know very clearly the answer, they learn the importance of cooperation and perseverance. They don't see failures but opportunities to learn. They understand the importance of teamwork. Friendships are fostered. Precious memories created. This is education because education is about life and not just about grades. 20 years later, when they look back, will they remember 1 hour of drilling exercises for examination or their basketball final match? The academic grades really do not have much meaning. It is actually the journey, the process in which they work for something that moulds their character. It is actually these bits and pieces of experiences that made our children who they are today. Participating in the activities that they are interested in also helps to build up their confidence.
But on a side note, if your children have a lot of trouble catching up with schoolwork, then I think it is good to be engaged in a CCA that does not consume so much of their time.
I understand that all CCA stops when it's near the examinations, but this does not mean the activities for your children stop too. You can bring your children out to the park for a stroll or a run, let them scoot in the evening when the sun is setting, let them play at outdoor playgrounds. Give them plenty of chances to be in touch with the nature, looking at greeneries is good for their eyes. Bring them for a swim or play a game of badminton with them. We are so blessed to be in Singapore, blessed with facilities that are so near our houses. Most of them are free and so convenient, there is no excuse not to bring your children out.
2. Prioritize and Time management
Children have to be taught the importance of prioritizing and good time management from young. How young? As young as a toddler. Basically, there are 2 sets of things which we must complete as a human. Things that we NEED to do and things that we WANT to do. Without completing the first set, we cannot move on to the second set.
Eg: Which is more important at lunch time? To play or to eat? As the adult we have to teach the toddler that at lunch time, the more important thing to do is to eat, hence we should first eat then play. This is priotizing and a toddler will be able to grasp this. Maybe they won't understand the word "priortize" but we can certainly help them to understand that there is a time for everything and we have to do the rights thing at the right time. Good habits start from young. Children who know how to priortize will grow up to be adults who can priortize and will thus be more effective at work and handle stress better. They will also learn to focus on a given task before moving on to another.
For example, my son will need to first wash his hands and feet when he's back from school, unpack his bag and change his clothes before he can do any other things. When he got distracted and started playing, I will need to re-direct him back to his tasks. If he spots a new toy at home that he really, really wishes to take a look before starting on his tasks, then he will need to ask for permission and the decision lies with me.
As the Chinese saying goes “一年之计在于春，一日之计在于晨”, which means a year's plan starts with Spring and the best time to plan for the day is in the morning. I find myself to be most effective if I have a to-do list for a certain day. So similarly, you can teach your children to plan for the day in the morning or even better, the night before so that they will wake up motivated to complete their tasks.
For example, their to-do list can be pretty simple like 1) Revise chapter 1 and 2 of Chinese textbook 6A 2) Revise fractions and complete worksheet set A 3) Try to memorize 1 good phrase from the list given by English teacher.
The above is just a simple example, the list can be longer or shorter depending on the time that your children have or their abilities. For me, I will certainly add 'Bible Study' to my sons' to-do list. If time allows, it is best to do daily revision instead of last minute work. If your children have a good habit of revising daily, it doesn't matter when is the examination because they will always be ready.
Making use of their creativity, your children can also add in elements of fun when they are revising. I love colors so I use colors to help me in my learning. I actually remember what I studied by their colors.
I also love to pretend that I'm a teacher teaching a class for biology with the facts that I have memorized from my textbook. All these made me look forward to revising for my examinations.
Routines and structure are very important to children because they give them a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline. So it is good if they have daily schedules to adhere to as they will know what they should be doing at a given time. Parents can draw up schedules for very young children, but as they grow older, they should actually learn to plan their own daily schedules.
3. Attitude determines altitude
Given the fast paced society that we are living in Singapore today, inevitably, our children are faced with a higher level of stress. How then do we teach them to manage their stress? Besides learning how to prioritize and manage time properly, which will help them to work more efficiently, they will also need to face their challenges everyday with the right attitude. "千里之行，始于足下”，A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, no doubt we might be faced with an avalanche of work sometimes, or we could be in a situation that seems overwhelming, nothing will change if we start worrying or feel stressed about it.
What we need to do is to stay focused, break the major task down and start taking small little steps towards our goal. People do not accomplish great things overnight, it's often the little things we do that matters. If you can't fly, you can run, if you can't run, you can walk, if you can't walk, you can crawl, if you don't even have the strength to crawl, you can ask for help. It really doesn't matter how far or fast you move, the most important thing is that you took the effort to get yourself moving. It's more important that the 'you' today has improved as compared to the 'you' yesterday.
4. A conducive environment for learning
According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, our children's basic needs must be satisfied before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs.
Hence, a conducive learning environment is of utmost importance to your children's learning. If possible, it is ideal to designate a corner, an area or an entire room in your home as your children's learning area. The room should be brightly lit, well ventilated and decorated such that your children feel welcome and cozy in it. It should also be away from distractions such as telephones, television, internet, and other people.
The mind is programmed to do certain things in certain areas so sitting down to their designated study area means that your children will ignore everything else and focus on their work at hand.
Depending on individual's preference, some people concentrate better with background music while some needs silence. Some children may also need to nibble on some snacks to motivate themselves.
Whatever it is, communicate with your children to better understand their needs.
5. Tender Loving Care
Last but not least, our children need lots of tender, loving care from us. We must believe in them even when the whole world gives up on them. Thomas Edison will not become a famous scientist if not for his mother. She never gave up on him even when the school sent him home because they thought he was mentally ill. Every apple has a star in it if we don't cut it the usual way. Do we see the star in our children?
I believe that all parents have good intentions and push the children for their good but at the same time we must also take caution that we do not get too caught up in the rat race that we lose our direction. Has our definition of success blinded us? Does being rich and having a high status equate to successful? Is our definition of our children's success a means to satisfy our own need, for our own pride and glory at the expense of our children's happiness? We have lived our lives and our children also have the right to choose how they live. We do not decide their paths but more to guide them towards the right direction.
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. (Stacia Tauscher) is my favorite quote. It brings tears to my eyes and reminds me that I should not worry about the unknown future and forgets to live at the moment. This moment is what we have. This moment, your child is looking at you alive, smiling, happy and healthy. This moment, you can feel, touch and hear your child. To a mother of a terminally ill child, this is all she could ever dream of. As, Bs, Cs is not in her mind at all. Yet we often take each moment that our child is alive for granted.
At the end of the day, it is not the As, Bs or Cs that matters, it is our children that matters. Is our children well physically, emotionally, mentally and most importantly for me, spiritually? Because I want my boys to return to God and nowhere else.
What about you?
Trying to completely empty a breast is like trying to empty a river — it’s impossible, since more milk will keep flowing in while milk is being removed.
