Why don't I want Epidural?
First of all, I always believed that God's way is always the best. Eve and the women in the past had no epidural so there is no need for me to use it too. Although I believe that epidural is generally safe, I also have reservations about it, you will never know about the side effects that you do not know about. There are limitations to humans' knowledge, even if the doctors said it's safe, it might not be the case 10 years later. Moreover, taking the epidural sounds scarier to me than going through labour pain, really.
Besides the above reasons, I really, really want to experience the pain. Not that it proves anything, but because I want to experience what my Mummy had gone through. I was born from a natural breech birth, with my bottoms out first. My Mummy had to withstand 12 hours of pain without epidural and no one by her side. She went through it alone. Thank God for blessing her with a brilliant doctor who was confident enough to deliver me naturally.
My experience......
My gynae is very supportive as usual, she never once mentioned that I might need epidural. Probably because she could sense my determination. And she termed labour pain as a joyful pain. Due to high blood pressure, I had to deliver my #1 at 36+ week. It was a Wednesday and we had a hearty Macdonald breakfast. I was actually pretty excited about giving birth, finally, I can experience what childbirth is like. I knew that God will be with me and my labour will be a short one.
After inducing, I just lied there pretty bored with nothing to do. My hubby sat beside me and sang some hymns. I could only really feel contraction pain when the dilation reached about 6cm and the intensity peaked at around 8cm. Actually what is most miserable for me isn't the pain but towards the last hour of labour, when the baby was coming out, it felt really like a big chunk of shit coming out. Hence, I was very worried that I would defacate and cause inconvenience to the nurses. However, the nurses patiently explained to me that it wasn't shit, but my baby who was coming out. Something really big was obviously making his way out of me, but yet I could not push as my dilation had not reached 10cm yet. Now, that was the most miserable part because the rhythm of the contractions made me want to push naturally so it was really difficult to go against it. When it was time, I just had to ride on the waves of contractions to push. There were several failed attempts as my #1 had quite a large head circumference and he just could not come out, in the end, my gynae had to use the forcep.
For my #2, my waterbag burst at week 35 and dilation was already 3cm when I reached the hospital. I was ecstatic and all ready to give birth, thinking that it will certainly be a really short and not so painful labour. However, my gynae ordered for me to take medicine to stop the contractions and take steriod injections to let my baby's lungs mature faster. This will minimize the chance of my #2 of being admitted to NICU after he was born. My heart sank when I heard this. I had to stay overnight in the hospital and be induced the next morning. Induced again! Although labour for my #2 lasted for only 3 hours, it is somehow more memorable because without epidural, I was very tense and could not relax, hence my dilation stayed stagnant at 8cm. Nurses walked in and out of the room, poking their fingers into me to help me to relax. Certainly ain't a good feeling. Fortunately, my #2 was out with just one push as he weighed just a mere 2 kg.
During the last hour of labour, when the pain was the most intense, there were 2 things on my mind which kept me going on. I thought about Jesus Christ, the pain that he had to go through, being crucified on the cross, for all of us sinners. Did I even experience 0.01 percent of his pain? Secondly, I thought about my Mummy, she went through all this pain when she gave birth to me, the pain she experienced might be even worse. I could finally understand a little of what she had gone through. If she could do it, I could do it too.
After all the pain that I have experienced, you could not imagine the immense joy that I felt when I feel my baby slipping out of me. I was overjoyed! Relievd that we were well and fine! And looking forward to a good meal as I was getting pretty hungry from all the pushing. The fruits of labour taste all the more sweeter when you had worked so hard for it.
I had no epidural for both my boys. For my #1, labour took 6 hours and #2 took 3 hours. Both were induced. If God is willing and bless me with our 3rd baby, I really hope that I do not need to be induced anymore and maybe I could have the chance to compare the degree of pain between induced and natural birth.
How does labour pain feel?
People have commented that my threshold of pain should be really high. But I think the degree of pain varies with different people. What does it feel like to me? I can only say that it feels like very, very, very bad diarrhea. The pain feels somehow familiar to me because I used to have bad diarrheas when I was a teenager. Every morning, during my secondary school days, I would break out in cold sweat while singing National Anthem and then rushed to the toilet before lesson starts.....the diarrhea would last 2-3 times before it stopped by noon. I really have no idea what is the cause. However, I gradually recovered from it.
If you do not want epidural......
If you are already considering or have made your decision, then be firm and stick to it. Leave yourself with no other options or there is a high chance you will give in. When you have decided to breastfeed, then do not buy formulas, just in case you have insufficient milk, because you must believe that you definitely have milk. When I signed on to be a teacher, I really do not know how much I will need to pay should I break the bond, because I know I will definitely serve the bond. There is no what-ifs for me, no other options to take. People around you will continue to tell you horror stories about childbirth but do not take them to heart. Believe in God and yourself and that all will go well.
I did not say that it is not painful, but the pain is bearable. And should I need to go through it again, I'll still feel nervous about it. But I will pray for strength, for my labour to be a short and smooth one and leave everything in the hands of God. I believe that psychological factors have greatly magnified and mystified labour pains. The fear of fear itself is the ultimate fear.
Childbirth lasts at most for only one day, but it marks the start of yet another challenging but oh-so-joyful journey - Parenthood.
Gen 3:16
To the woman He said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.
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